we have officially lost it.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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