I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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