At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
