I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?