I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.