im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.