I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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