No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".