Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He just brought a live lobster to the party.