I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too