New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌