I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize