doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My vagina just clenched in fear
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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