Betty ford says i'm here all night
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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