using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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