Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize