Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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