My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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