I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
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