I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize