I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize