quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.