I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP