he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?