Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?