he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision