First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10