how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
