I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
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Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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