i jhust puked up my retainher.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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