Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Shame - the story of my life.
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