She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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