he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".