is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.