Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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