it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
