Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
