dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
