What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
