More tranny stories later!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
