dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
