Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?