do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.