I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?