I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY