Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will