My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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