you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
