And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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