Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
