yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
