We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes