Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
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Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
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Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery