if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
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I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
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I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him