so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
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He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
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The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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