I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize