Screwed.edu
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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