Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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