i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize