You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
