Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
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I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
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You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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