um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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