i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
