I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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