I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize