Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
