Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
