I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
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I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
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Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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