You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
